Dawlish Warren

This is the account of my holiday is Dawlish warren , Devon.

Day One

The day started with paying the rent and putting petrol in the car. Packing and selecting my holiday play list. Then a three hour car journey to Dawlish. About 1/3 of the way there we stopped at Bere Regis services for a toilet break. Back on the road to go around a pointless roundabout. By pointless I mean there were only two directions, straight forward or back the way we came. Half way there and it started to rain, oh and it’s true what they say about cows, they really do laid down when it’s raining. For the second scheduled stop we missed the turning, so we continued on. We arrived and had to wait in the clubhouse until 3:30pm, to get the keys. We are staying in C62. Right up a steep hill. Which equals lots of exercise for us. We got inside and were immediately met by the stench of stale smoke. We looked around and I bagged the back bedroom before the boys. It was smaller but some how I preferred it. Anyway my room has two single beds. So I’m sleeping on one and putting all my stuff on the other. It’s definitely dirtier than Challaborough Bay last year, so we will complain at the end of the holiday. We would have complained earlier but we had already un-packed. We tried the smoke alarm and guess what, it didn’t work. And just the same as Challaborough last year they forgot to give us linen. So off down to Reception we go. Back to the caravan to make the beds. Me and mum went to explore and ended up in a private caravan park. So back to the caravan we went. Where I got out the map and we found the direction that said to the beach. So off we went exploring again and came across a fish and chip shop and a small supermarket. It’s bigger than the site supermarket anyway. By then it was starting to get dark, so we walked back. We met the boys, just as they were leaving the caravan, and they complained that they were hungry. So we went down to the clubhouse, but found the prices were too high. So we took a drive to the fish and chip shop. The boys came with us and went to the supermarket to buy some ketchup. Back to the caravan to eat battered sausage and ships with a chip butty on the side. We watched Coronation Street and Eastenders. Then down to the clubhouse to watch the reps do a swing act. Now I’m not a huge fan of swing, but they weren’t that bad. We stayed until about 11pm. Then back to the van to play a few round of solitaire. Then bed. I was absolutely knackered.

Day Two

Today started with me and mum going down the supermarket we found yesterday, by car. On the way we took a detour in the opposite direction to see what we could see. We found a Texaco petrol station and a Chinese takeaway shop. So I said I would stretch to a takeaway one night. Anyway back to the supermarket, where I bought some stuff to do a bolognaise pasta for tonight. Back to the caravan for a cup of coffee. Then me and mum decided to walk the coastal walk. It was great; we walked along the seafront, along a narrow path, which was the only thing that stopped the sea sweeping us away. We got almost all the way along, before having to take a detour, because the tide was too high for us to carry on. We made it all the way to Dawlish. A quaint little town. Mainly tea-rooms, but we did find a bank for me to draw out money for free. Then we found a Woolworths where I bought a set of dominos. We also found a Co-op supermarket, where we bought some sandwiches and a drink each for lunch that we ate on the seafront. By which time we were so tired that we though about getting the train back. It would take us to Dawlish Warren (the next stop) but we would have to walk up a really steep hill and we would have to wait 40 minutes for the train to arrive. So we decided to walk. We walked part of the wall back and walked along the bit of wall we couldn’t earlier. The tide was still a little high. So when the waves crashed along the wall, we got a bit wet. But it was all good fun. Then we turned off up past the Texaco garage we found earlier, so that we could cut off the huge hill. 3 ½ hours after we set off we made it back to the caravan for a well earned sit down. I cooked tea. Then I had a shower. There is something very sexual about being in someone else’s shower. That was until I got the fright of my life when a spider decided to jump on me from above. For those of you who don’t know, I am shit scared of spiders. Later we went down to the clubhouse to watch the reps do a queen tribute act. The queen tribute was actually really good. They got the whole place going with we will rock you and it was hilarious when one of the male performers dressed as a woman for I want to break free. Quite awesome. Me and mum played a round of pool. Obviously the boys can’t because of their hands. It came down to the black ball. Mum selected a pocket but put in the wrong hole, so technically I won, but she was leading all the way through. Then back to the van for a very welcome sleep. As again I am knackered and my knee gave way on the way down to the clubhouse. The backs of my legs ache and I’ve pulled my neck. Oh and I have to do it all again tomorrow when me and mum will walk along the wall in the opposite direction.

Day Three

Today for breakfast, well nearer lunch by the time the cooker was hot enough. We had a fry-up. After which me and mum went down to the beach and walked along the wall in the opposite direction to yesterday. We didn’t walk as far as we were both hurting after yesterday. It was mainly a sand and pebbles walk. The closer we got to the end of the beach, the more we realised that there wasn’t really anything at the end. So after about an hour of walking we turned back. At end of which we had a real Cornish ice cream Mr Whippy ice cream with a flake. Then off to the supermarket again to buy tea for tonight of potatoes, beans and a pie each. I managed to get the latest issue of Kerrang and Rocksound. So that kept me busy for a while. We had a coffee back in the van. Then we walked down to Reception to get some leaflets on Exeter, where we may go tomorrow. We stayed in the caravan and watched TV for a while. Then had tea. At about 9pm, we went down to the clubhouse. Where they were playing Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. They got stuck on a question and so a member of the audience called 118118. Which is a service where you can ask them anything. If they have the answer then they will text it to you. But if they can’t find the answer they will text you a random fact and your call will be free. So we waited and just before we were about to use a lifeline. The man yells I got a text and 118118 were right. We finished the competition and won the million. Then the show started 15 minutes late. Tonight it was a cabaret act of a comedian/singer by the name of Sammy Small. He wasn’t really funny and he didn’t really sing anything I know. It was motown, I knew a few choruses but that was it. His funniest story was about his friend Barry. Let me see it I can transcribe it for you.

I’ve got this friend Barry. Who just started working at a zoo. Now to start with they put Barry in charge of the fish. It was just one fish. But what they didn’t tell Barry was that it was a Piranha. So it kept biting Barry and taking chunks out of him. So Barry battered the fish over the head until it was stone cold dead. Another keeper said, you can’t do that Barry, you’ll get into trouble. What are we going to do with a dead fish. Barry said feed it to the lions, they’ll eat anything. So they moved Barry to look after the chimps. But there was this one chimp that was just so troublesome that Barry bashed it over the head until it was stone cold dead. The other keeper said, Barry you can’t do that, what are we going to do with a dead chimp. What if the boss finds out? Barry said feed it to the lion’s, they’ll eat anything. Next they put Barry somewhere they believed to be safe. They put him with the bees. Now the bees liked Barry. So much so that they stung him head to toes. Until Barry was so sore that he took a broom, whacked them and mushed the bees on the floor. The other keeper said, now Barry that’s enough, what are we going to do with a load of dead bees. Barry said I care not, feed them to the lion’s, they’ll eat anything. So the next day a new lion comes to the zoo and he’s taking to the other lion’s and asked, how is it here. The other lion’s looked at him and said fine. The new lion then asked, so how is the food here. To which the other lion’s replied. Great, yesterday we had battered fish, chimps and mushy bees.
If said fast enough it sounds like battered fish, chips and mushy peas. A very English dish. Tomorrow the adventure continues.

Day Four

Today, the first thing I did was get dressed and go to the little site supermarket, as last night J and Dex ate all the bread, not leaving any for breakfast. I spent the morning watching TV. Then me and mum walked down to the beach to catch the train to Exeter. It’s my first time on a train in about 4-5 years. The last time I went on a train was to go to Winchester with my college law class to see a murder trial. Anyway in England at the moment, the transport authority or who ever runs the train times say that most trains should be on time. But my first time in 5 years and it’s late. It was only 5 minutes late but it was still late. We got to Exeter and looked around the shops and sites. All we bought was a packet of crisps and a double cheeseburger from McDonalds. Which was the best double cheese burger I have had for a long time. It was fresh and hot with the cheese melted just right. Anyway we bought a bottle of water and a nail vanish. Not much considering we paid £3 train fare each. But at least it gave us something to do. On the way back the train was dead on time. It arrived at the station on time. We got on the wrong carriage. It was 7-8 carriages long. We needed to be in the back 3 but we were in the front carriage. So we ran to change carriage. It separated on time and got us back on time. For tea me and mum went halves on a Chinese. Not as good as our usual but not bad. Then off to see the reps in a show. We went down early to see the guest talent competition but nobody entered. So we played Who Wants To Be A Millionaire but Mark, one of the reps lost us all but £1000 of the money because he was so sure of an answer but was wrong. Then we watched the reps do a west end show, full of songs from west end musicals like The Lion King, Cats, Fame, Flash dance and Footloose. Then sadly back to the caravan to pack. Strangely tonight I am so tired, I was struggling to keep my eyes open through the show. So an early-ish night for me. 1:30am. Ha-ha

Day Five

Today started early, we had to get up and pack the car to be out of the caravan by 10am. Why is it you always have more luggage leaving a place than you do arriving? We all piled in the car and set off on the long journey home. I was navigating again but I found it hard to stay awake. Where I was so tired we missed our turning and had to double back on ourselves. So when the boys wanted to stop at the Bere Regis services for a toilet break, I got a coffee and a glucose boost. Back on the road again. It was such a welcome site to see the M27. It took us 3 ½ hours to get home. Then the arduous task of un-packing. Off to do some food shopping to get the essentials. Home to unpack again. Then down to Nan and Granddad’s to pick up Poppy. And that’s it, back home and the holidays is over. I still have a couple of days off work. Which is bonus.

All in all it was a very relaxing and welcome break away from the city life. But I wouldn’t change the city for anything.